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Film & TV

Halloween Horror Movie Marathon October 2019

Silver Shamrock

Another year, another October, another 31 movies to watch. Allow me to introduce myself…

How I Celebrate Halloween

My name is Cole and I watch horror movies. It’s how I celebrate the horror holiday. I don’t love parties because I’m awkward in a group of people. I don’t love dressing up because I don’t want it to seem like I try too hard. Ya know, I don’t even love candy and sweets that much.

But I love Halloween. Monsters, and jump scares, and guessing what people are dressed as, and the fall bite in the air, and true crime, and gore, and the color orange, and pumpkin pie.

Above all, I love the movies. For seven years I have (with varying success) watched a movie every day in October. My own ABC Family’s 31 Nights of Halloween. Except 31 different movies and not just Hocus Pocus 3000 times on repeat. Okay, sometimes it’s Hocus Pocus on repeat, it’s great.

If you don’t see your favorite movie on this list, maybe I watched it last year! You can check out that article too. Or maybe I watched it some other year. I don’t have articles for those, but I think you can comment on these things. So like, comment, share! That’s how internet interaction is done right?

On to the list…

October 1: Joker

That happy face is the face of a mad man. Just because Joker is the most common Halloween costume again (what is this, 2008?) doesn’t mean he is necessarily a horror icon. But I maintain that this Joker belongs in a horror list. It’s more Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer than Batman & Robin. We will descend into the addled mind of a maniac more than once this month and DC characters aside, Joaquin Phoenix’s performance belongs with the rest of them. I’ve got more to say about this great new movie, but I already said it. Insert link to article here.

October 2: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Ooo got ’em mid sex. Classic slasher move. There are a few of these Halloween movies, so for those of you keeping track at home, this is the one that climaxes in the barn. Pun. Intended. Revenge is also the mid-point of the Thorn Trilogy. You know, the ones with the secret death cult responsible for reviving Michael Myers. That subsequent movies would totally ignore. For what it’s worth, this is the best of that middle chunk, but probably my seventh favorite Halloween movie total.

October 3: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

See that Jason? Yeah that one right there. This is the Friday the 13th where Jason isn’t actually Jason. Spoiler alert, but that’s just some paramedic whose son was killed at a halfway house, so he goes on a murderous revenge rampage. So actually, it is more spiritually similar to Friday Part I than it gets credit for. Especially since the last one was supposed to be the Final Chapter and this is A New Beginning. But horror fans wanted zombie Jason. So in less of a twist than the ending of this movie, the sequel totally ignores this and brings back Jason.

*Sidenote: For clarity, and because I’m a nerd, the Jason in that gif actually is Jason. Tommy Jarvis (played by the hunky Jason Shepherd) is having visions of Jason all through this movie after having confronted him in the last one (when he was played by nerdy Corey Feldman). The real Jason/the one in his dreams has an axe mark in the top right of his hockey mask. Imposter Jason does not. Details!

October 4: Fright Night (1985)

This is a typical ‘My Neighbor’s a Monster’ story. Roddy McDowall shows up because he plays a Vincent Price type B-Horror movie star that is also supposed to be the World’s Greatest Vampire Hunter. Except he doesn’t believe in Vampires. Well he’s about to! Also a noteworthy movie because a bite from this creature of the night can also turn you into a wolf. Which is sort of backed by Vamp-lore. They don’t always just shape-shift into bats.

October 5: Re-Animator

Boy 1985 was a heck of a year for horror. This is meant to be a sort of satire of Frankenstein, but it is a legit horror on its own. And also hilarious. Our mad scientist with the stereotypical green serum has learned the secret of bringing things back from the dead. Like his roommate’s cat. Or his roommate’s fiancé’s father. Really this is just a cautionary tale to take roommate selection seriously. My only, and weird, beef with a near perfect horror staple: the soundtrack is too obviously a rip-off of Psycho. You can be inspired by the great Bernard Herrmann. And, if this was a straight comedy, you can spoof the great Bernard Herrmann. But it’s just too close for a movie that should stand on its own.

October 6: ParaNorman

Look at Norman with his cute ghost grandma. This is my third favorite ‘kid sees dead people’ movie ever (Beetlejuice and The Sixth Sense of course). It might be my favorite ‘the curse must be broken by Halloween night’ movie though. I enjoy when my Halloween movies *actually* revolve around Halloween. It’s a trend shared by a less good, worse animated entry for later in the month. And also, a great entry coming up next!

October 7: Trick ‘r Treat

Families coming together for the holidays. Isn’t that what Halloween is all about? If this gif wasn’t so darn cute/creepy I would have definitely gone with Sam. He’s the little scarecrow looking kid that belongs in the horror icon second tier. You know, below Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, Chucky. But along Billy the Puppet (the Saw marionette), Pinhead, Pennywise, etc. Trick ‘r Treat is by far the best anthology horror movie out there, because the stories are independent, until they aren’t. Where is the sequel? Do people not know this movie is great? It is!

October 8: Final Destination 2

You know that meme that goes around where people are stopped at a light, but no one is behind the logging truck, with the caption “Looks like someone’s seen Final Destination“. They are referring to this one. Not coincidently this is the best opening scenario of the series as well. Which is saying something from the franchise built on cockamamie death traps. If you are wondering, why number two, it’s because I watched the first one a few Octobers ago. Friday and Halloween, I watch one every year going in order, but there are a lot of horror franchises with a lot of entries. Some I marathon in the same year and some go years in between. It’s my marathon. My rules.

October 9: The Addams Family (2019)

Here it is. The gif that captures my feelings on this movie. If you can stand to sit through very 2019 jokes to get to a story of fitting in, or more importantly getting along with people even if they don’t, the the new Addams Family will be an okay way to spend 90 minutes. Chloë Grace Moretz as Wednesday is definitely the highlight, but the movie bounces around so much that we don’t get to know any of the Addamses. This should still be in a theater near you, so check out my full review if you want to know more.

October 10: Frankenstein (1931)

Honestly, I’m kinda surprised the internet has gifs from this movie. But this scene right here is the reason modern audiences can still enjoy this movie today. Frankenstein (the monster not the man. Actually that’s harsh, these movies are about humanity and life. Someone probably has written an essay about how Boris Karloff is more of a man, and the good doctor is really a monster. Sorry, I get lost in parentheticals sometimes.) is learning about beauty and friendship for the first time. But in his misunderstanding he murders a little girl. A monstrous act that deserves the pitchfork and torch mob, but also a sad story. Frankenstein is my fave Classic Universal Monster Movie.

October 11: Bride of Frankenstein

There’s the epic hair, the iconic look. I watched a lot of Turner Classic Movies as a kid. These black and white monster movies are one piece in the screwed up puzzle that lead me to loving scary movies enough to write this freaking long article every year. Despite having seen most of these a long time ago, it is educational to watch them with all the horror pop-culture knowledge I have now.

October 12: 30 Days of Night

Not exactly a stake through the heart, but it gets the job done. By the way, that’s Josh Harnett: Teenage Heartthrob™ on the swinging end of the axe. The plot of this movie is that some screenwriter found out that there is an actual town in Alaska that is dark for 30 days in the winter and thought, man that would be just *the place* if you were a vampire. That person has my kind of brainwaves. It just makes me glad Stephenie Meyer set up vampire camp in Forks, WA and left Barrow, AK for this.

October 13: Martin

Martin is kind of a creep. The saving grace of this 100-year-old vampire love story is that he gets it on with a consenting adult. Not an impressionable 16-year-old girl (or her literally impressionable unborn child, man Twilight was weird). 30 Days of Night feels like a zombie survival movie, but it’s vampires, Martin is a slow burn vampire deconstruction by the inventor of zombies. The man, George A. himself.

October 14: The Horror of Dracula

The classic monsters are back, and this time in technicolor. The blood is bright red and Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing replaced Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. But the basic Dracula story is there. The History of Horror Chapter One should be Universal Monsters, but the next great era was the Hammer Horror. Dracula (1958) pushes film a little more and introduces more modern vampire lore. Bram Stoker wasn’t too concerned with sunlight (and neither was Martin) but it is the climax here where dawn bursts the creature of the night into dust; leaving just his ring behind. One of the great final shots in horror history.

October 15: Zombieland

The first Zombieland came out at exactly the right time for me. I get that Scream is scarier, Shaun of the Dead is cleverer, and Evil Dead 2 is Sam Raimi-er, but this is my all time favorite horror-comedy. I am a sucker for fourth-wall breaking and narration that contradicts what’s on the screen. The way Columbus tour-guides us through The United States of Zombieland with his rules and neuroticism is a perfect contrast to the simple masculine hunt for Tallahassee’s Twinkies. This movie is quotable, gif-able, and down right enjoyable. I’ve re-watched it a lot in the past ten years, and a sequel was the perfect excuse to dust off the DVD and watch it again.

October 16: Zombieland: Double Tap

The marketing blitz for this one hit me pretty hard. I loved the first Zombieland so much in 2009, that I liked it on Facebook. That’s what you did. So I was pretty worried that I’d accidentally seen all the funny parts for this one in between wishing my friends happy birthday, pity-liking my dad’s boomer memes, and scrolling through my depression. Which is all FB is for now (someone sign Eisenberg up for a 10-years-later sequel to Social Network while he’s at it). But I was pleasantly surprised. Ruben Fleischer captured the feel I loved from the first, while still making the second bigger in every normal sequel way. Bigger zombies, bigger stars, with a bigger cast. The first one still holds that special place in my heart, but my memory isn’t tainted by the second one existing, and that’s really all I needed.

October 17: The Final Girls

You’re telling me there’s a horror/comedy about a motley group of modern teens transported into a typical 80’s slasher that must fight the conventions in order to survive and return to their own world. And I won’t love it? *yeah right* But The Final Girls consistently felt like it was written by someone who had heard jokes about slashers, without having ever seen one. The guy music-scoring the fake movie-in-a-movie Camp Bloodbath has definitely seen Friday the 13th though because the theme when the murderer is on screen is spot on. All in all I just wanted more. It framed itself so well to say something new or tell a new joke, but never followed through.

October 18: The Slumber Party Massacre

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t inspired by The Final Girls to watch a real schlocky 80’s slasher. Slumber Party Massacre is super sexy, super gory, and super funny. Everything we love about that era. The conveniently timed radio broadcast tells us that a murder is on the loose and he has a creative killing tool of choice. A murderous double entendre if these movies ever had one, a giant drill. If you are looking for what the 80’s slasher was all about, this is a great starting point outside the traditional canon.

October 19: C.H.U.D.

In case you’re wondering it stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, until you find out it doesn’t. This movie understands the terror of fighting against an unstoppable machine. And that’s not the monsters I’m talking about. It’s the fear of endless government oversight GASP!

October 20: Leprechaun

That is indeed Jennifer Aniston’s butt running away from Warwick Davis dressed as a creepy character from Celtic lore. Of all the iconic horror antagonists, this is the most…unique? Especially as the franchise goes on to become more comedy than horror. But the first one is pretty, well, decent. Yeah Leprechaun is weird.

October 21: Midsommar

My thoughts exactly Florence. Strap in, I’m going to give this new release a bit more.

October is a special month for me movie-wise because *wildly gestures at all of this*, but it is also the month I became an officially recognized critic. A year ago, I walked into a theater with five other professionals and watched Suspiria (2018) a week before audiences could see it. Then I wrote a review and this website published it and wow. I made it y’all.

Now, it’s been a year and I was prepared to cringe at young Cole’s unrefined tastes and poor writing. Nah. That was a pretty good article. Especially with the perspective of seeing Midsommar.

My overarching thoughts after watching the Suspiria remake were geared more at the direction of the genre, than any particular element of that new movie. There is a specific way they make arthouse horror at this moment in time with a return to serious, yet negative, religious elements and a retaking of the female body far away from the easy exploitation of the slashers of yesteryear. They do dialog and tension different. There is a momentum to these movies that will make you want to run away, yet suck you in at the same time.

Hereditary especially was the vanguard of the movement. It made 80 million dollars worldwide (compared to 40 or so for The VVitch and Midsommar and only 7 for Amazon Studios’ Suspiria), was received favorably by critics (not named Cole), and launched an Oscars campaign for Toni Collette (that ultimately fell short, but who was really surprised..)

And now Ari Aster has a sophomore film out. And boy it doubles down on everything these new High-Horrors are doing.

1: It was agonizingly long. 2: It ruthlessly tortures everyone on screen. 3: It moves slowly until escalating toward insanity. 4: Finally (mercifully?) it ends with our put-upon heroine finding the belonging she was looking for the whole time in the OBJECTIVELY BAD DEATH CULT.

There were moments in the middle where I loved what I was seeing. The evil was bright and out-in-the-open which flies in the face of the dark and stormy nights of gothic horror. It saturates the colors with a palate closer to Easter’s pastels than Halloween’s autumnal oranges and reds.

I understand people who love these movies, but I don’t. Ya see, I have fun watching horror movies. I wouldn’t do this all month if I didn’t. I definitely wouldn’t do this all month if every movie was Midsommar.

October 22: Cabin in the Woods

Ahh, comfort food. Look at those monsters, the buckets of blood, the sheer action-figure-smashing-together-joy that comes from seeing all the things you love on the screen at the same time. I watch Cabin in the Woods every year and that scene makes me giddy every time. I needed this after Midsommar. However you cleanse the palate.

October 23: Monster House

Everything ParaNorman was earlier in the month, Monster House is not. For instance: well animated. Neither of these movies are smooth Disney Princess drawings (and there is something to be said for horror adjacent stories having a rougher, off-putting art style) but Monster House looks half baked. This was two years after Zemeckis unintentionally terrified us all in Polar Express and three years before A Christmas Carol. It’s the best of that trio? Not high praise.

October 24: Countdown

How long did this movie seem to you?

What if Final Destination was an app?! The concept worked better than the movie, but gosh I still had fun. This is exactly the kind of dumb new release that makes October such a great month. Sure I watch critically acclaimed movies but going to the theater with a group of friends to watch a group of dumb friends meet their demise is as much a part of the season as the subtle crisp in the air, football, and pumpkin pie.

October 25: The Dead Don’t Die

After catching Countdown opening night, I finished work on Friday and jumped on a plane to visit some friends in Texas. The in-flight entertainment had Jim Jarmusch’s zombie flick from earlier this year. It was about the biggest 180 spin from Countdown I could have stumbled upon. No amount of warning that “Jarmusch has a style”, or “it’s not for everyone”, or “it’s weird but go with it” can possibly prepare you. And I was with it for…some of it…but man, it is stylized, and not for everyone, and most of all–weird.

October 26: The Bye Bye Man

The Dead Don’t Die had far too mainstream of a trailer for what that movie turned out being. The Bye Bye Man had a perfect trailer for what it was. Remember? It was the one with where the kids were sooooo afraid of saying the monster’s name. And then we find out that name was The Bye Bye Man. It was dumb. This movie was dumb. But it’s on Netflix! Next.

October 27: Terrifier

Also on Netflix (I had to download a few movies to my phone for while I was on vacation) but vastly different from yesterday’s flick. A rule of horror is when you have a weak script, and I can honestly look in the mirror, most horror movies don’t have the strongest scripts, you can be made or ruined by your monster. Art the Clown is a freaking monster. This screenplay could very well be the worst on the list this year. A harsh indictment considering what I watched yesterday. What makes Terrifier actually terrifying begins and ends with that dang clown. The acting, make-up, silence, and brutality deserve a better movie.

October 28: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

Every year needs a crowd pleaser and hear me out. It’s a franchise with wizards, werewolves, curses, ghosts, a poltergeist (okay so Peeves was left on the cutting room floor, but he was in the books! And so were mentions of vampires and mummies.) heck this movie has ‘Deathly’ in the name! Stay tuned for my ‘The Harry Potter Movies Should Have Been Horror Focused’ article coming soon.

October 29: Hellboy (2019)

I watched two del Toro movies last year, and I want to just remind the jury that I love that man. His passion and understanding of horror might be unmatched on the planet right now. He is creative and he knows how to create a creature on the screen. Bravo’s 100 Scariest Movie Moments is worth watching every year just to see him geek out. I need to make that clear because I think I liked this version more than del Toro/Perlman’s. There was a reckless abandon about this Hellboy that wasn’t concerned about being capital G Good or paying to a large audience. But it played to me.

October 30: The Shining

Doctor Sleep is coming next month (because November is the perfect time to release a horror movie) so let’s get ready. Stephen King famously doesn’t like this movie, but the rest of us love it. There’s something that doesn’t make sense about watching lo-fi 80’s slashers all month, and then realizing The Shining came out at the beginning of that decade. It seems too good. It looks perfect. The acting is modern.

October 31: Psycho

If you thought The Shining was timeless, have I got a 1960 movie for you. I started the month with a killer that wears his crazy on his face. The Joker has never been a subtle character. Norman Bates is. He is conflicted and confused. He is wholesome but capable of things no sane person could imagine. The First Slasher only has a body count of two but it’s the space between the kills; when we get to know the killer, where Psycho shines. If sweet and normal Norman Bates could be the murderer, anyone could be.

Happy Halloween.