With the release of her fourth studio album, Chime, as well as her debut hardcover book, My Own Devices: True Stories from the Road on Music, Science, and Senseless Love, 2018 is truly the Year of the Dessa. Wearing the hats of rapper, singer, writer, and partaker in all the laborious tasks required to help operate an indie hip-hop label, Dessa keeps busy.
Devoting this time to her creative endeavors is one that she takes in stride. “Purposeful might be my favorite feeling– even better than happiness”, she states in her memoir. The drive to make meaningful contribution accompanied by an incredible work ethic landed her a spot on 2016’s The Hamilton Mixtape and has put her on stage among world-renowned orchestras. On a humanitarian level, she took part on Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “Almost Like Praying”, a song that was created to benefit hurricane relief efforts in Puerto Rico.
I’m not even going to front. I’m biased when it comes to Dessa. She has a spirit about her that’ll leave you both inspired and enchanted. Nora McInerny may have put it best on her podcast, Terrible, Thanks for Asking, when she joked, “Every single person I’ve ever met that knows who Dessa is says, ‘Yes I would amputate my own leg to be around her in any capacity.”
In my own experiences meeting her, she’s been effortlessly down to earth. On the west coast run of her recent Chime Tour, I chatted with her for a bit after catching one of the shows. I told her I’d actually be attending another gig of hers later in the run that was coming through my hometown.
At that second show, I saw her in the crowd watching her opener. I didn’t want to disrupt her in case she had business to attend to or needed to stay in a preshow zone. Instead, I decided I would just say hello after her set. This plan was foiled. A moment later she recognized me, thanked me for coming, and gave me a hug. Whoever coined the phrase, “Never meet your heroes, because they’re sure to disappoint you,” probably just needed a hero more like Dessa.
I proudly admit that being a fan of Dessa inclined me to want to read her book. Even then, her way with words is what kept the pages flipping. There is no bias involved when it comes to her ability to maneuver language in such an intriguing elite way. Her work will speak for itself.
My Own Devices explores Dessa’s wide array of life experiences. This includes coming up in the music scene and all the complexities that can come with being in it. It’s especially complex when you throw love in the mix. She offers endearing stories about each member in her immediate family. She describes her childhood, her quest to insure her heart, and recounts the scientific means she took to try and remove the heartache of an on-again off-again romance.
Although each anecdote delves into it’s own theme, there is a commonality between them all; a lesson learned. Some of these lessons are hard earned, but not in vain. Fortunately, Dessa writes in a way that welcomes readers to her perspective. Through her bouts, she’s learned and through her accounts, we learn.
For those who haven’t, go read it. You’ll get it.
One of my favorite passages in her memoir expands on the idea that humans may have a more innate desire for an authentic experience than they do for happiness. In “The Fool That Bets Against Me”, she describes how while pursuing her philosophy degree, one hypothetical thought experiment in particular stuck with her.
The exercise entailed putting yourself in a situation where you’re in a loving marriage, have a great job, and are just all around happy with your life. Then a stranger informs you that your spouse doesn’t even love you, in fact, they are cheating on you. Your happy life is not what it seems. You are then given the option to continue knowing the truth or have the conversation with the stranger erased from memory and go on happily with the way things were.
Then she masterfully brings you back.
“I think the majority of us wants something more than we want to be happy. We want to have an authentic experience– to understand our lives, even the sad, lonely, and unsolvable parts,” Dessa writes. This really hit home for me. In society, there really is a sensationalized idea that striving for happiness is the most important thing you can do in life. We see it in clichés and as the driving force in films. We hear it from our loved ones to encourage us. That dead horse has been beaten so excessively, one would have trouble determining it was even a horse in the first place. It’s a refreshing perspective to consider that there are things in life, “being purposeful” for example, that are worth sacrificing a bit of happiness to achieve.
One reoccurring character throughout the book is X, Dessa’s intermittent romantic interest and lover. As if chasing what feels like a hopeless love isn’t enough of a struggle, X is also part of Dessa’s rap crew. In a 2015 interview with famed hip-hop journalist Sway Calloway, Dessa was asked how it was to still work and be around X, despite their breakup romantically.
“Being able to work with, reconcile, and to stay close with X is probably the hardest thing and the proudest thing I’ve done as a rapper, and maybe as a person,” she answered. Throughout Dessa’s musical discography, there are songs we can safely assume are about X. However, the beautiful thing about My Own Devices is that she isn’t hiding behind the guise of being general or vague like many artists will do in songs. Both forums have their respective means of expression, but in authoring a memoir, Dessa allowed herself to be more vulnerable with the details. Ironically enough, being vulnerable takes great strength.
Even if you aren’t familiar with any of Dessa’s previous work, you don’t need to be. There’s so much that can be gained from reading this book either way. I couldn’t put it down and as the remaining pages dwindled, I found it hapless that the journey would be ending. Dessa’s writing is lush with imagery. The creative way she describes elements in these non-fiction stories is truly beautiful.
When describing being in the A car of a train, while her label mate was in the F car, she cleverly expresses the distance between them as “a whole report card away.”
When recounting what traffic was like in New Orleans she writes, “Traffic noses through the French Quarter with a strange, slow calm–the cars move like fish in a restaurant’s aquarium: too tightly stocked to maneuver freely, but too well fed to mind.”
She depicts her resemblance to her mom by stating, “In my first memories of her, she looks a lot like I do now–like I’m a polaroid that took thirty years of shaking to develop.” These are just a few examples of the way Dessa skillfully sculpts language throughout her memoir.
Dessa’s ability to weave back and forth from anecdote to the symbolic message behind that anecdote is exceptional. It’s done so smooth and fluidly. The endings and overall metaphors of each story tie together in perfect knots. Reading this memoir inspired me. It made me laugh. It broke my heart. My Own Devices is emotionally packed and knows how to play every chord on the heartstrings. Grab your copy here.
Writer’s Note: Dessa, if you’re reading this, I just wanted to say RIP to Milargo the Plant!
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Check out a Dessa music video before you leave!
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