Subtitle: Or a review of Chaos Walking. Out in theaters now. If you’re into that sort of thing.
Can I start with a story? In the summer of 2011 I went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter Part 8. I mean, technically Harry Potter Part 7: Part 2. And I do mean midnight showing. This was back in the golden age of being unabashedly excited about things, and sitting in camp chairs outside the theater all day wearing t-shirts we made with puffy paint quotes on them and holding tight to our books until midnight. None of this soft 7 o’clock showtime on Thursday night stuff. So me and a theater full of nerds watched, laughed, and cried along with the conclusion to our childhood. And when Molly Weasley screamed “NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!!” we openly cheered. The theater was unsurprisingly full of people that had read the books, and Cooper, whose girlfriend read the books. And if our website demographics are correct (or if you are just humoring me and reading this after clicking a link on my facebook page) then you’re probably between 18-30 and have read the books too. But try to imagine watching that movie on its own merits. Watch it like a movie, not an adaptation; and remember that before Mrs. Weasley’s character culminating moment, she had exactly zero lines of dialog to build to it. We cheered. We loved it. But honestly, kind of a bad piece of screenwriting. I promise this relates back to Chaos Walking.
How to Adapt
Adapting a book into a movie is easier than say a video game or god forbid board game. Books have plots. Beginnings, middles, and ends. Characters and settings. Things you need to tell a story.
And yet some adaptations of books work better than others.
[editor leave space for an LOTR picture to prove point.]
Sometimes the casual movie fan doesn’t find out until awards for Best Original/Best Adapted Screenplay come out which of their favorites of the year were actually based on previous material. And ‘adapting’ can cover anything from loose guidance like Logan or Joker or more classily There Will Be Blood to Cormac McCarthy practically writing the screenplay for the Coens in No Country for Old Men. It’s a good thing when you want to rush home and read the book because a great movie surprised you in the credits with a “based on the novel by such and such.”
It’s a bad thing when you want to go home and read the book because you wonder what the heck you were missing in that two hour set up for sequels and characters that didn’t matter.
And there’s no genre that lends itself to that latter problem than adventure fiction.
Okay, I was being generous. We all know the specific genre is YA dystopian fiction. Hunger Games Lite Cash Grab Fiction. Popular Between 2008 And 2013 Where Two Teenagers That Will Eventually Be Portrayed By Gorgeous White 20-Somethings Fall In Love Despite The Whole Screwed Up World Working Against Them Like Shakespeare Didn’t Already Write This Crap in the 1590’s Just Without The Post Apocalyptic Backdrop Fiction.
Moneyball-ing the Movie Industry. Hey, that was based on a book too!
I love the laid back job of a film critic, but you know what job is easier and pays just a bit more? Film executive. Huh, comic book movies are making billions of dollars, let’s do something bold and…make more comic book movies. You’re telling me that the kids love these hellscape romance books? Well find me the highest selling one that isn’t a movie yet and start pre-production.
Bring me photos of Spider-Man.
It isn’t rocket science. I know every business is essentially copying more successful, more trailblazing businesses but it seems especially lazy in Hollywood. Until you drag a trend’s lifeless corpse behind you for a little too long.
1.3 billion dollars worth of me and my closest friends saw that Harry Potter finale in the summer of 2011. And Lionsgate was already hot in production to fill that YA vacuum left by WB’s boy wizard with Hunger Games in Spring 2012. Hunger Games 2 Thanksgiving of 2013 would be the highest grossing film in the series with 865 million. Maze Runner and Divergent both launched in 2014 to 348 and 288 million respectively.
Who is Still Seeing These Movies in 2021? Well, Other Than Me..
Things were trending down and those are just the series *successful* enough to get sequels. To say nothing of The 5th Wave, I Am Number Four, and Ender’s Game that did so poorly that the franchises died before they were born. And then there are the critical reception jokes that embarrassed franchises to death like Eragon, Artemis Fowl, and Percy Jackson. Although after two awful movies in that series we are finally getting a streaming show with the author’s blessing, so, patience my friends.
You see, the Venn Diagram of people watching these movies is actually just concentric circles. Everyone got into Harry Potter. A ton of people hyped Twilight and Hunger Games. A few of them read the Maze Runner. A couple of them had heard of The 5th Wave.
We keep getting deeper into the rabbit hole hoping to pop out the other end with a hit. Instead.
The Actual Review Part of Our Program
Originally slated for early 2019, reshoots pushed release back to 2020. Then *wildly gestures at EVERYTHING* pushed its theatrical release to this weekend. It didn’t help that they had to negotiate filming schedules around Disney’s Star Wars‘ and Disney’s Marvel’s golden girl and boy.
Chaos Walking is based on the 2008 (yup that sounds about right) YA dystopian novel The Knife of Never Letting Go. Two comments about that. 1. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep thinks that’s too literary a title to be a big budget movie. 2. They had so little faith in this franchise getting off the ground that they just titled the movie after the series, not the first book. That’s some Series of Unfortunate Events level pessimism right there.
So What Happens in This Book…er…Movie?
The gimmick of this after earth world, is that the every thought of men is heard and displayed in a sort of wispy noise around their heads. Called The Noise. Staple of YA novels: simple literal names for everything.
Tom Holland (who says his character’s name approximately 4000 times during the movie and I still can’t be bothered to remember it) is a simple farm boy that gets no respect whose whole life is changed the day Daisy Ridley crash lands on his planet.
They have to travel from plot point to plot point until arriving at a location worthy of a climax where Daisy Ridley has to decide whether to go back to her people or stay with this unlikely partner she’s come to know over the…two days of their adventure? I feel like this was a more dramatic journey in the book.
I also feel like Nick Jonas WHO IS IN THIS MOVIE had more to do in the books. And we had a better explanation of the history of this planet we’re on. And that the native monsters had a bigger antagonistic part. I guess the CGI budget was blown on signing those hot young Disney stars. And Mads Mikkelsen. And Academy Award Nominated Cynthia Erivo. And Academy Award Nominated David Oyelowo. Wait, he wasn’t nominated for Selma? Freaking Oscars. Anyway AND the aforementioned Nick Jonas who does absolutely nothing in this movie. They paid for the stars and I’m sure they suckered a few Tom Holland stans into the seats, but I’m guessing they’ll be disappointed.
That’s 3/5 Stars. I’m a Modern Letterboxd Guy, Not an Ebert Guy.
Even on the Hunger Games curve this movie comes in around 3 stars. Mostly Chaos Walking is just late to the party. There was a time when the hype for these YA romances could carry fans through two movies based on one book, but eventually, as with all volatile markets, the bubble burst. The final Divergent book aimed for this strategy but after a disappointing first part, the second half was pushed to TV movie status. And later cancelled altogether.
A post-Harry Potter world is a great world to be in for fans of books. I’ve read a few, and watched even more movies and Chaos Walking is a shining example of the disconnect between the camps. Studios want some of that easy teenager money, but these dense books aren’t built to be boiled into 2 hours on screen. And ironically, there often aren’t enough action beats to carry across two movies either.
LotR Really is the Gold Standard. How Did The Hobbit Go So Wrong?
It’s no coincidence that the only fantasy book adaptation to work well as a faithful adaptation AND a great series of movies is one with two different versions. The Lord of the Rings movies in theaters were good enough to win awards and tell a concise story. And the Extended Editions are thorough enough to satisfy even the most well read fan.
Oh and the author is perhaps the greatest world builder fiction has ever seen.
And so studios still stand confused. Why won’t Chaos Walking make a half billion dollars? Well, there’s a pandemic, but also it just isn’t a good movie. And if you’re going to just make a fan service movie, you better make sure there are enough existing fans out there willing to go see it.
Are you heartbroken that Tom Holland and Daisy Ridley didn’t end up together at the end? Well no need to wait for the sequel that probably won’t happen, just drown that heartbreak in this list!
